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A retelling of my life in DC and all the stupid ass sh!t I get myself into...



Clarity

I've spent the past two days in Ohio on work travel. True, it started off with me over sleeping and missing my flight, but that doesn't take away from it. I've had a wonderful two days. As you might have noticed, I was totally in lust with my rental car there. I don't remember the last time I was sad to see a rental car go back. But in this case, the 2009 Volvo C70 was just perfect on the sunny days and clear cool nights that are Ohio in mid May. I think that's exactly what I needed to paint a smile across my face from ear to ear and help me clear my head from all the noise that's going on in it.

Work was good, I over came some small hurdles and saw some work friends that I don't see often. I participated in a training course as part instructor part general fix it guy. On that note, it was great to see my training manual appreciated and all the hours I spent flipping through it over and over and over again fixing images that were off by only 0.01" all seemed worth it... Nice! For some reason, I was really laid back (more so then usual) at my training session. I was confident, knew the material but I almost didn't care what they thought. The scores were great, so playing I don't give a fcuk clearly pays off with these type of folks.

I was referred to as a conundrum by one of the staff, but I have a hunch that that statement will get more clarification and possibly become a post all on it's own in time.

I've camped in the airport for a little while at this point and flying home from this trip for the first time in a while, I feel a little clarity in my thoughts and my life. That silly little rental car was the first heartfelt and sober ear to ear smile that has come across my face in weeks... it was refreshing and felt great! I think I was actually giddy driving around I felt so good. I know DC is my home and there are so many great things about it, but I'm just not looking forward to being there right now. Is it time to run? I don't think so. Is it time to move on with my life? Very possibly. The opportunity that I was scared of only a month or so ago, I now welcome as a new and exciting challenge. As a building block that will help me move past where I am now.

I'm not saying I'm going to change who I am or anything like that. Will I still be a party boy? Probably. I have a hunch that won't leave me till my death bed... and anyone that wants to put up with me better enjoy the ride with me. Will I still look out for the people around me? I'm certain that I will. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I feel ready. Ready for whatever is next. That's a good feeling. And I'm proud not to be afraid of it.

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posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 11:30 PM,

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