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A retelling of my life in DC and all the stupid ass sh!t I get myself into...



Generic Taunt?

I sent this for an upcoming competetive scavanger hunt we are having soon and I just wanted to share.. Sooooo funny!! Now, I need to disclose that this is a mock up of a generic sports team taunt email that's on the web. I've adjusted it a little, but I started with a template. Enjoy!!

T3's Team... As you know, the game is coming up in a few weeks. I'm sure you are as excited for it as I am, as our teams are rivals and have been for quite some time. Your confidence in your team is high, but rest assured, you will suffer humiliation when my team defeats your team mercilessly.

On numerous occasions, you have expressed the conviction that your team will be victorious. I must admit that every time I hear you make this proclamation, I react with both laughter and disbelief. "Wanker!" I say to myself with laughter. "What the fcuk?!" I say to myself in disbelief. How could you believe that your team could beat my team? It is clear that yours is inferior in every way.

When the contest begins, the members of your team will be treated as though they are inconsequential. It will be remarkably easy for my team to accumulate more points and consume much more beer than yours. There are many reasons for this, starting with the inferior physical attributes of your team members. Strength, speed, drinking
ability, and stamina are just a few of the qualities that your team lacks. My team, on the other hand, have these traits in abundance!

I would not be a bit surprised if the individuals on your team were sexually attracted to members of their own gender. That is how ineffective they are on the field of battle.

If you need another reason why my team is superior, look no further than the supporters for both our two sides. Not only are the supporters of my team more spirited, but they are also more intelligent and of finer breeding than you and the rest of your ilk. In addition, the female supporters for my team possess more attractive countenances and figures than yours. Some of the women from my side that I have observed could make a living by posing for pictures for major men's magazines such as Maxim, GQ, & Playboy. The women who cheer for your team, I'm afraid, are far too unattractive to do so. I believe the term 'butterface' has been used in reference to your female supporters.

Do you still doubt that your team is inferior to mine? Just look at our teams' respective histories. In the past, we have defeated you on any number of occasions in a variety of events. Granted, there were times when your team beat my team in flip cup or beer pong, but those were lucky flukes and few and far between!!

The day of the game will soon be at hand!! And no matter how hard you pray to a higher power or how many hash necklaces or knee high socks you wear in support of your team... Your will be defeated!! We will win and you will lose. This is your fate!!

Prepare for humiliation. It shall be upon you at the designated hour!

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posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 11:00 AM,

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