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A retelling of my life in DC and all the stupid ass sh!t I get myself into...

Off to work….sorta!

Ok, so I just got this new job a few weeks ago bartending at a bar near my house. Good times!!!!!! Loooove it! The extra money is nice since it costs all of $55 to fill up my jeep’s gas tank! WTF? NE wayz, back to it. So, I’m workin last night and a few people decide to stop by and have a happy hour with me. Awesome! Business is sorta slow, so the boss being the nice guy that he is let's me go early at the crack of 915! Sweeet!
Now a prudent person would go home and rest up from the past 2 late nights out, buuuuut..... well, you know how that goes. So, off to McCormick & Schmidt's to booze it up with the whole crew that came out. Good times for a quick drink with a cute bar tender! I'm feeling in a generous mood, so I pick up the tab for all of us here.
After a few complaints that this place is tooo up scale, we dive it down a notch and hit the Crystal City Restaurant (CCR). For some reason, I decide I should order my beers 2 at a time, so the fun starts... NOW! Hangin out with some great people and naked girls dancing all over the place, I start to see that this is good times! The girls that came with us are having just as much fun with the strippers (if not more) as the guys are!! Turtle decides to catch a seat RIGHT on the stage and have dinner. Good call. Hamburger, beer, titties... what else do you really need, right? Well apparently we all needed shots! Since CCR doesn't serve liquor, you have to run next door to the chinese place to do shots. The chinese place is closed! :'( That won't stop MY intake thank you very much! 6 of us march up to the next bar and do a round of shots call a "Snake Bite" courtesy of knee deep. I'm just glad she didn't make us do "Prairie Fire" - look that one up, that's pain in a glass! So, back to the strip club for one more round and I realize that the guys that took up residence at the stage, still haven't moved!! Too funny!
I'm a big fan of techno music and there was nooooo shortage of it at the strip club, but different people have different musical tastes so we moved on.
In the process of moving on, I see that I’m obviously not gonna be in any state to drive after I go anywhere else, as do a few others that are with me and we go to move our cars. Also, I took the initiative to pick up a few cases of beer just in case a few people decide to late night it.
So, a few minutes later, at the next bar it seems that everyone knows the guy singing and he's thrilled to have us there. Since he knows us anyway, all 10 or so of us decide to help him out singing at the top of our lungs!! We are quite good if I do say so myself!
Turtles wife is hanging out at the bar trying to find me a nice cute asian girl! So nice of her! The one she found came with a tall white kid that followed her around all over the place, so she kept on lookin for another cute asian girl!
As “Late Night” is getting scrutinized for her out fits b/c she’s wearing a slip?!?!?! Other then my grandma, I know no one who wears a slip. Even the girls pick on her a little for this one. So, she takes it off and explains that it’s there to keep your clothes from sticking to you. I think, what a brilliant idea & decide to put it on over my pants & dance around in it. See, now my pants won’t cling to anything!!!! To prove to me just how pretty I was in that, turtle decides to stick one dollar bills in my pants. Thanks! I didn’t think you had any left from the strip club! Later yet in the evening, I’m discussing the intricacies of something I find very important (don't remember what that something was) and gesturing slightly with my hands to the point where I spill my full beer. S#!*!!!! Turtle & Knee deep quickly step in and introduce me to a tradition for just such an occasion....

"If you spill a beer, you have to do 20 pushups over the spot where you spilled it!"

....ok. who am I to go against tradition? Since a few other shots have snuck their way into my system, counting for myself is completely out of the question, so what sounded like half the bar counted for me!
We proceed to finish drinking too much here and prepare to leave this bar. A handful have to head back to BFE (Outside the beltway) whence they came from & they head to their respective rides. A few of us decide to go check out those cases of beer I bought earlier in the evening.
On our way up the street, a wondrous sound is to be heard..... is that.... a 350 GM V8 with straight pipes?? It is!!!! & it happens to be turtles car!! At this point, I think it's a great idea to start humping his car. I'm quickly corrected & encouraged to stop.
5 or so of us proceed onto my house for some late night beers & singin that I’m pretty sure pissed my roomies off. Sorry roomies.

A few hours of sleep later finds me back at my day job starving, hung-over, unshaven, ugh... not a good site! I just remembered I forgot to eat last night. that must be why the 12 or so beers and couple shots hit me as hard as they did! It's all good, gotta suck it up for tonight becaaaauuuuussseeee.......... Thursday is a Hashin day!!!!!!!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 3:44 PM,


At Thu Sep 01, 01:31:00 PM EDT, Blogger Late Nite Drive Thru said...

I'm glad you caught some of the things I forgot to write about...and what's wrong with a slip, anyhows? I'm an old-fashioned girl!

At Fri Sep 02, 09:20:00 AM EDT, Anonymous Pussy in a Haystack said...

We started a different tradition at Pubic Housing's... Someone knocked over a beer on her steps and they had to lick it up on the spot... much better than pushups!

At Fri Sep 02, 03:53:00 PM EDT, Blogger Mr. X said...

You should have explained that you were actually spilling the beer for your dead homies.

Yours truly,
Mr. X


At Sat Sep 03, 01:41:00 AM EDT, Blogger SMAC said...

It was WAY too long - my adult ADD started to kick in and I had to watch INXS Rock Star. SUMMARIZE!!!
Happy Labor Day to all of you mothers out there!!!
PS - Why doesn't Mr. X comment on my blog??? Hmmm.. homosaywhat?

At Sun Sep 04, 12:47:00 PM EDT, Blogger KQB said...

Strip club!! I am sad I missed that...


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