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A retelling of my life in DC and all the stupid ass sh!t I get myself into...



Damn you sparks(s)!!!

So I was on my way home getting ready for a nice quiet night when I thought to myself…. Do I really want a nice quiet night? Not so much! So I change into some shorts, grab a bag of goodies outta the fridge and head for the metro. On my way I see my illustrious roomie who notices my bag of goodies & asks..
Isn’t that the same stuff you stole earlier?
Maybe...
So you stole from the stash that you stole earlier?
Yeah, I’m complex like that!
So, onto the metro where I miss every single connecting train!!! And get to the trail just as they were leaving… excellent timing! We walk & drink my sparks(s)….. wait a minute? What’s this? A liquor store on trail?!?! Excellent! More Sparks(s)!!! Just what I need. In fact, I think it’s what all the walkers need as I proceed to buy all the sparks they had in the store and dish it out on trail calling it my own personal shot check!! I got to the ending circle and had a couple...more. Decided to tell everyone I was a visitor from San Diego (clearly I’m not!) & drink with the visitors… people were not amused. O well, let’s just go to the bar!!!! I get there to the tune of $2 Schlitz in a can….SCORE! A generous friend decides to get one of 'em for me… Thanx! Then another… Thanx! Yet another.. Thanx! Then I think I start buying some at this point… ok, that’s ENOUGH Schlitz for one me. I know, I’ll just go to another bar w/o Schlitz! That’s the ticket. Ok, things get a little patchy from here on… So, I split a cab with a friend of mine towards the south of the city. At this time i'd like to point out that a smart person would take the cab home… I tell the driver to stop the cab in front of a bar near my house instead. Do I go into the bar? For some reason no… apparently I’d rather sit on the curb and see who would loooove to hear from me @ 1am. As I call random people and describe my location as…
...the curb in between A Benz and some other car across the street from an Expedition.

Yet wonder why they don’t know where I am! So, I’m sitting there on the phone and some friends of mine roll up to go to this bar… sure, I’m down! They start doin’ shots of Jager with beer chasers…. O yeah, that’s just what I need. I recall I ate some fries & some steak at the bar…. There was a problem with the ketchup and it’s ability to cover my French fries effectively…. When I see it…. My bounty for the evening…. A fake ice cube that lights up and changes colors!!!! It’s almost like it was meant to be! You just can’t put fun shiny/light up objects like that near me after too many drinks… To quote the guy from the Simpson’s

"Yoink!"

I think I actually said that as I was borrowing that ice cube thingie.
My friends were kind enough to give me a lift home after only a few shots of Jager…thanx guys!

This morning….I hurt, but tonight…. Happy hour? You better believe it! Gotta party with mom after we get offa work!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 10:53 AM,

5 Comments:

At Fri Sep 23, 11:23:00 AM EDT, Blogger Late Nite Drive Thru said...

ugghhh! you are SO on my sh*t list now! promising me Sparks, bringing them, BUYING more, and I STILL don't get any?

....silent treatment!

 
At Fri Sep 23, 12:14:00 PM EDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Puppy, you always seemed like such a nice boy, but from your blog I'm getting the impression that you'll steal anything that's not nailed down!

FP

 
At Fri Sep 23, 12:17:00 PM EDT, Blogger Cptn S.A. Ho said...

No, that's not the case, just shiny things after a few too many beverages and my roommates food!
=)

All else is safe!

 
At Fri Sep 23, 03:05:00 PM EDT, Blogger Mr. X said...

Gotta buy rounds for people so that, one day, when I'm broke, I'll still be able to stay drunk.

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...holla...

 
At Tue Sep 27, 02:29:00 AM EDT, Blogger This one time . . . said...

You are such a klepto.

 

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