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A retelling of my life in DC and all the stupid ass sh!t I get myself into...

The start to a veeeery long weekend!

So I take off work on Thursday at 5pm sharp to get on and start my weekend. As I’m driving home, a bolt flies off of a motorcycle and hits my windshield at around 70+ mph… ugh!! Now there’s a giant section in my windshield that looks like some one raged on my damn jeep! It’s xactly the size of a fist and expands out to roughly what a bunch would do to a windshield.
NE wayz, I get home and get outta work clothes, catch the train and onto a little pre-pre party at around 545 or so. A keg of beer? Sweet! A free keg of beer? Xtra-Sweet! … the beers warm? Well…. Put some ice in it! Aren’t we a classy bunch here? So a few iced/watered down beers later, let’s go for a run. Me? No, I’m working a beer check. Me and another guy drive around a little ways then are able to find it and get all set up about 30 mins too early! No problem, let’s just stand around and drink some cold beer instead!! =)
A few beers later, people show up and I’m done with my duties and free to socialize but it’s FCUKING Cold…. WTF? It was just summer like yesterday!! Apparently, a few of us felt that way and ALL (8) of us crammed into a car to hitch a ride to the bar. Thanx Lisa!!
In the bar, we’ve got our own floor of bar reserved, with pool tables, 2 bars, and even a bar tender wearing a navy sailors uniform?!?! Riiight, we’re in a gay bar, got it. Well, all the people are very nice, the drinks are tasty and we sing entirely toooooooo much karaoke! The karaoke guy even lets me plug up my iPod to hear some “Thank god I’m a country boy” by John Denver which Marshall & I sung very well from our seats at the bar!! Good times! A few Heinekens, & Cap’n and cokes later I ran into Turtle and we took off to another bar b/c we were hungry and I wanted good wings!! So… you guessed it back to Bailey’s for discount wings, great beer and bar goddess for me to drool over!!
Last call & time to call it a night. Lucky for me some family guy re-runs are on to truly make this an awesome night!!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 2:44 PM, ,

Which "Saved By The Bell" character are you?

As if there was any doubt!

Click the picture to find who you are!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 11:07 AM, ,

iTunes tag?

THE RULES: List five (or six) songs that you are currently loving. It doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the songs in your blog, then 'tag' six other bloggers/friends to see what they're listening to."

Ms. Meh's List
1. Pussy Cat Dolls - Don Cha
2. Keith Urban - Making Memories Of Us
3. Black Eyed Peas - Don't Phunk With My Heart
4. Weezer - Beverly Hills
5. Sheryl Crow - Always On Your Side (found it last night; probable new fave)

My List (in no specific order)
1. Eminem - When the music stops
2. Mos Def - Ms. Fat Booty
3. DJ Encore - Walking in the sky (Radio Edit)
4. Joe Nichols - Brokenheartsville
5. BT - Simply Being Loved (Somnambulist Edit)
6. Olive - Your not alone

..and i'll be tagging....
1. Boozie
2. I can't believe it's not Vodka
3. Kane
5. Stinabella80
6. Weeeeeee

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 12:43 PM, ,

Saturday is a Renn Fest day!

Good morning campers, it's time for the Renn Fest!!! Don't know what it is? Click the link on renn fest and it'll take ya! Needless to say I over slept this morning based on my last nights brief outing, but I'm up as groggy as ever but I'm up!! My roommate ROCKS!!!!!! He left me a breakfast burrito and hash browns and doughnuts to eat when I finally dragged ass outta bed...well, when I say left for me, I also mean they were left on the counter and didn't stand a chance as they were unguarded whilst I was hung over!
Fabulous! On to the festival which udder had directions to this year! We get there and meet up with about 15 or so others of us and enter into this magic realm known as Maryland... j/k we go into the village of Revel Grove on Festival Day!! Wow!! Everyone is in costume, it's really like a village from the 16th century (except there was no Pepsi back then)!! All the shops are merchants in costume, all the wares in styles sold in days of yore!!! To truly enjoy this day, all 15 or so of us make a mad dash for the bar, but not before we can take a picture of a "Sweet Nuts" and a "Choose your own booty" Sign. These signs get even better as the day goes on.
We get to see a real sword swallow'r & magician. He does tricks and a great act over all. He's pretty damn funny too! There's an improv comedy group doing skits from that era, there's jugglers, and even Girls hanging from rings in the tree's. We watched jousting, and did I mention we feasted on turkey legs and drank too much ale?? We're livin it up mid-evil style! I even buy myself a sword... o shut up, you know your jealous!! All in all, very possibly the most fun I've had in MONTHS!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to go next year!
Leaving the fair shows me just how tired I really am as I sleep the entire way back. Wonder if it has anything to do with my early happy hour last night?

A most excellent Warn Winch and PIAA light arrangement on an Xterra in the parking lot of the renn fest... ok, I know it has nothing to do with anything, but it's really not often you see an Xterra properly AND tastefully done, ya know? Ugh.. never mind, just go to the next pic!!!

hehehehe!!!! Sweetnuts!!! It's funny and you know it!

These people have some serious deals with nuts here, don't they?

You know, Kane's actually got a picture of me chasing down this kid to get a picture of his sign... that was kinda funny watchin both of us run down the dirt path with a digital camera in one hand and a beer mug in the other!

The costumes were very VERY good!!

Funnel Cakes by day.... these signs are killin me!!

Nuff Said!!!

They'd make a fortune doing some of these place names on T-Shirts!

The crazy funny as hell sword swallower guy

Click here for more pix and commentary courtesy of Kane!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 5:34 PM, ,

Seriously, how many cabs do we need here?

So, working in a bar, I generally hear about the specials that are going on in the area restaurants. As such, I generally like to try em. So we start out at Morton’s for some $4 martini’s and free filet samiches… yummm!!! Ok, so we get there and since Friday is casual day we’re all a little under dressed, but what ever… but then we get to the bar and EVERY spot is packed!! Nuts… well, Bailey’s? Yup… wings!
We go to bailey’s and as it’s my mom’s first time in the bar where I work (o yeah, my mom joined us for happy hour) we decide to order the WHOLE menu for her to try!! We are feasting on a smorgasbord of fried foods including 40 wings, fried cheese, some sort of chicken sticks, some quesadillas… yummy snacks!! (mom leaves after dinner and a few drinks, she’s tired…..of us probably!) A few beers later we learn that Sarah, she joined us too, has left her atm card at a bar in the city. After taunting her a bit, we decide we should go retrieve it…Now, when all three of you look at each other and know this is a bad idea, you should probably listen to yourself!!
...Naaah. (Cab ride #1) We get to the bar where her card is, and since we’re already there she offers us a round for joining her. An excellent idea! The bartender is very friendly with her drinks so we should deff have another!! Coincidently the phone rings and some friends of ours are not too far off in the city having a few cocktails as well, ok we’ll join ya! So were walking and everyone has to stop for a restroom break, Jon and I find a wall with a tree to use, Sarah however, finds a port-a-potty. Well, since guys pee quicker, we had some time to kill and decide to try to mess with our drinking companion while she’s in the toilet. So Jon begins charging for the toilet with intent to tackle it… (Charging with intent to tackle... theory an excellent idea… but we somehow over look the fact that we are in a construction site)…running… he all of a sudden gets into a fight with a short stack of bricks hidden in the brush!!! Them bricks took his ass out like Daniel San in the arena before the last match….

"Sweep The Leg!!"

And he is down for the count!!! Sarah arrives on the scene a little confused since he didn’t actually make it to the port-a-potty she's not sure what's goin on. After a little bit of taunting and laughing we realize that he’s just sprained his ankle… we should get to the bar quickly so that he can get some booze on it…. For the pain of course!
(Cab ride #2) We get to café Citron and there’s a LINE down the street… ugh, damn trendy good music havin' places! I don’t like lines & Jon’s hurt, so the bouncer and I come to an understanding so that we are able to gain admission to the much more rapidly into club. A bee line for the bar for cocktails, then we search for our friends who only take about 5 laps to find!! Fun Fun!! A few rounds and some dancing ensue here….Great music!!! We decide we’ve graced this bar with our presence quite enough, let’s go to the next bar, Sign of the Whale, to meet up with yet other friends who are out dancing.
(Cab #3) We get there do a quick walk thru to find… nope, they aren’t here. I think we saw Slim Prickens there tho for a minute, but then we are off to the next spot. Since we’re already in the city… Camelot’s!!!! No cover, and some quality shows… I’m personally entertained by Petra and Sarah’s conversation about who’s breasts are fake and who’s aren’t…. it turns out everyone on stage isn’t real. O well, a nice show none-the less!!! Let’s see, we’ve bar hopped, had happy hour, seen some naked, caught up with friends….. it’s time to EAT!!!!
(Cab #4) We hit the Crystal City for a bite at the crystal diner… you can’t miss it… it’s the only 100% chrome building for miles and miles!!! I have my 2nd consecutive gyro in a row and call it a night.
Walking home at 430am I decide that this was indeed the longest happy hour EVER!! But a most excellent time.

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 5:13 PM, ,

I just love this pic...

So i went and toured a print shop after a meeting with the printer of our publication, got some goodies including a free book & such that they produce but i really loved this pic and had to capture it. This is sitting on a $50,000+ machine just chillin....You gotta love these guys!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 12:09 PM, ,

Damn you sparks(s)!!!

So I was on my way home getting ready for a nice quiet night when I thought to myself…. Do I really want a nice quiet night? Not so much! So I change into some shorts, grab a bag of goodies outta the fridge and head for the metro. On my way I see my illustrious roomie who notices my bag of goodies & asks..
Isn’t that the same stuff you stole earlier?
So you stole from the stash that you stole earlier?
Yeah, I’m complex like that!
So, onto the metro where I miss every single connecting train!!! And get to the trail just as they were leaving… excellent timing! We walk & drink my sparks(s)….. wait a minute? What’s this? A liquor store on trail?!?! Excellent! More Sparks(s)!!! Just what I need. In fact, I think it’s what all the walkers need as I proceed to buy all the sparks they had in the store and dish it out on trail calling it my own personal shot check!! I got to the ending circle and had a couple...more. Decided to tell everyone I was a visitor from San Diego (clearly I’m not!) & drink with the visitors… people were not amused. O well, let’s just go to the bar!!!! I get there to the tune of $2 Schlitz in a can….SCORE! A generous friend decides to get one of 'em for me… Thanx! Then another… Thanx! Yet another.. Thanx! Then I think I start buying some at this point… ok, that’s ENOUGH Schlitz for one me. I know, I’ll just go to another bar w/o Schlitz! That’s the ticket. Ok, things get a little patchy from here on… So, I split a cab with a friend of mine towards the south of the city. At this time i'd like to point out that a smart person would take the cab home… I tell the driver to stop the cab in front of a bar near my house instead. Do I go into the bar? For some reason no… apparently I’d rather sit on the curb and see who would loooove to hear from me @ 1am. As I call random people and describe my location as…
...the curb in between A Benz and some other car across the street from an Expedition.

Yet wonder why they don’t know where I am! So, I’m sitting there on the phone and some friends of mine roll up to go to this bar… sure, I’m down! They start doin’ shots of Jager with beer chasers…. O yeah, that’s just what I need. I recall I ate some fries & some steak at the bar…. There was a problem with the ketchup and it’s ability to cover my French fries effectively…. When I see it…. My bounty for the evening…. A fake ice cube that lights up and changes colors!!!! It’s almost like it was meant to be! You just can’t put fun shiny/light up objects like that near me after too many drinks… To quote the guy from the Simpson’s


I think I actually said that as I was borrowing that ice cube thingie.
My friends were kind enough to give me a lift home after only a few shots of Jager…thanx guys!

This morning….I hurt, but tonight…. Happy hour? You better believe it! Gotta party with mom after we get offa work!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 10:53 AM, ,

Disaster has struck!?!?!?

My lingerie run outfit has been misplaced in the mail!!! Ugh! It got shipped to somewhere near my house and had a 'return to sender' stamp marked on it! Argh. I have a hunch that it actually came to my house and someone EVIL had it sent back anyway! Not my roomies (they’re good, you know I think one got to clean something before I could get to it…wtf? He’s fast!!), someone else, but she’s pure evil!!!!!!! So, after talking to the post office, and the selling place of my outfit, I’m set a drift in limbo waiting to see what’ll happen!! Ooooo the anguish and pain….. maybe I’m over dramatizing a little, but I’m am NOT going in the same outfit as last year!!
Well, let’s see, work was good last night, not too many server drinks to bog me down, and an excellent late night rush of restaurant folks who were all very nice & invited me to their assorted happy hours! I’m thinking I may just do a happy hour tour this Friday to visit all the food service people that always visit me. You know, check out all the area restaurants and the like. There are those who would call this a bar crawl… it’s not! It’s a restaurant tour.

I’m a Sucker for good advertising, so here’s a blurb from an old Ice House add….
"Be the reason they invented camera phones!"

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 12:21 PM, ,

Habitual Laziness!

So there I am asleep on the floor after being kicked outta the chair last night getting stepped over as people go to leave the party from the night before. Now according to, the worlds foremost expert on people and their abilities, I am…

A Late Night Pro who should be fed with a Warm Quesadilla

However, that morning picture doesn’t seem to display that. I awake to find myself sleeping under a Washington post?!?! At least it was the Sunday edition. This apartment has gotta get more blankets before I party there too hard again.
On to the metro, but not before I pick up my left over taco’s from last night for breakfast. Yumm. Unfortunately, I have arrived home too late to go help my friend move, sorrie! But that does leave me free to drive over to, brace yourself, Reston! Aaack! I know. There’s a kickball game that I wanted to go scope out as I haven’t been to one….ever. It was good times & I only almost got hit with the ball once! Sweet! After the game we get a little bite to eat, and everyone is near exhaustion so we all go our separate ways to take naps.
Instead of a nap, I just hang out at the house watchin some tube waiting for the Simpson’s and new family guy to come on.
So, my buddy comes over, we get some Chinese food, and finish up king of the hill, stay tuned for an ALL NEW SIMPSON’S!!! & I fall asleep! Ugh, I must be busted ass tired from this weekend or something!

I wake up a few hours later to find the food, the shows & my friend are all gone. O well, on to bed to finish up my 12 straight hours of sleep!
You gotta have that day of rest I guess.

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 2:20 PM, ,

Partying for a good cause (...The Taco Story)

So Friday finds me at work ALL night long, but having an excellent time of it! I ran my ass off so the time went quickly…. All the way up till 4am when I left! The only draw back? Having to be back in a little over 6 hours to open! Well, that’s life when you work two jobs, right? Right. So I’m back in the morning to find we are waaaay over staffed. So, after fighting over too little work, the boss sends a few of us home with some free food. Score! I also notice that our event coordinator is totally HOT!!!!!!!! (Not to mention she’s got a totally cute 4Runner with a ported sub box!)

So, I’m fed, I’m off of work, what do I do now? Get ready to go out, duh! But not before I watch the same Bond movie that I’ve seen 50,000 times b/c it’s on TV!!

Lucky for me, I’ve commandeered a large percentage of my roommates Sparks so I grab one and head out the door. It’s just like the star bucks commercial where everyone’s cheering the guy on, except my stadium is filled with rowdy folks that’ve been tail gaitin’ all morning long! Before we can truly go party, you’ve got to have pre-party! So I go visit some bar-tender friends of mine at a nearby bar for a couple of low key cocktails before I start my night. The restaurant is a very nice seafood place with all sorts of pricy liquors including Johnny Walker Blue Label, $37.50/shot. So, I’ll just stick to the beer! A quick bite and little bit o' booze later, I’m off to a charity house party in court house.

My attempt to be fashionably late is thwarted when I realize, everyone else is too!!! I’m dude number 4 to arrive. Followed by 10 more… you guessed it, dudes! But, no worries the rowdy party girls arrive almost immediately after I’ve set my claim to the worlds most comfortable chair!! Instead of just playing music, all the tunes are played via music video which I think was hella cool. But we were listening to this guy, Keller Williams, who although is a talented musician is freakin weird to watch. The video switches from shots of this guy playing on his guitar to humping a huge speaker while wearing his roller blades in a middle school gym, to other random shots. I was told later that if you were high this would make perfect sense. As I was sober (I don't do drugs, sorry kids), I got to stare at the TV thinking WTF?!?!!?!

This gathering has the makings of everything good… 200 or so jello shots made with everclear (but no one told you until the next day so it was a little surprise!), Plenty of beer, a wonderful array of top shelf liquors, great people and a beautiful apartment. (I found out later, the party raised around $700 to benefit Katrina victims!)

Many many hours of partying and cocktails later, several people have gone home yet a handful of us have missed the train... opps! So we are all hangin out when a couple of us decide that 3:30am is an excellent time to get a fresh made meal! As I rummage thru our hosts cabinets, sorry, trying to find something to eat I’m thinking, there’s gotta be a better way…. I know Wendy’s! You know… “eat great, even late!” It’s late, let’s ride. We walk over to it and a sinking feeling in the pit of my already full of booze stomach shows a closed Wendy’s… What am I gonna do?!?!?! As I contemplate that very thought in the middle of the street, a cab driver picks me and my hungry friend up and we head on to taco bell which is open. SCORE!!! I lean over to order 10 of everything including a few taco’s for the driver! Yummmm…. I figured for as much crap as we bought, they shoulda stuck the deed to the taco bell in the bag. They prob did, but I’m sure it fell out of the bag when I fell out of the cab!

We return to the recently sleeping people as hero’s coming home from battle! With tales of our troubles and displaying our taco’s as prizes won to be admired by all…. Ok, at 4am that’s how I remember it. It was prob more like…“Hey, we got tacos, you want one?”

We feasted, then we head back to our respective sleeping places. I am sharing a chair with a nice young lady who asks if I’d like to have sex… me not thinking whether she was serious or not quickly blurted out (I don't think she was serious, but regardless I replied much louder then I intended as the entire room laughed their asses off at me)….

“I can’t right now, I just had tacos!”

How am I gonna live this one down?!?!?

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 3:26 PM, ,

Not one, but two electric banjo's?!?

So you know you’ve got a busy weekend coming up, you have that nice little pep talk with yourself saying, I’m just gonna go and run and then I’ll be in bed early to rest up for the busy busy day and weekend and all is good/set in your mind. How come all it takes is leaving the office and about 2 minutes on the beltway heading home to realize…”Nope, I’m goin out!!” I think this will deff require more study!!
So I get home and confront my roommate about how he’s trying to kill me (he’s not really)!!! He left the stove burners going all night last night so I woke up at 5am with my bedroom filled with the gas from the stove!!! As a repayment for trying to kill me, he gives me a lift to the run today and a sparks. I don’t know if you’ve tried this stuff or not, but it’s hella tasty. Just like a 16oz redbull infused with some malt liquor or something (yeah, I’m a little ghetto, what?!?) when served ice cold, it's very nice!!

Anyway, let’s get on with it. Time for a short run tonight. The trail is most excellent, just soooooo fcuking long! We don’t have time for that sh!t on a Thursday! There’s sewage & flood tunnels, highway crossings, creeks to wade, fences to climb over and pry up to go under, THORN Bushes out the ass, & a dash of PI just for fun! I particularly liked that creek, I REALLY wanna take my jeep thru it…. Do they go creekin up in the north?
So we finally get to the end and all I need to take my mind off things is a nice cold one!

Me - “Kane, come shot gun this with me!"
Kane - “Ok!”
So we set up to do the shot guns, some one says go & I go to pop the top on the can…. The fcuking can top just bends & won’t open!?!?!?! Drat! Well, I’ll just drink all the beer outta the side of this one then! A few beers later, on to the bar!
I grab a pitcher of beer…
Bartender - “How many glasses with that sir?”
Me - “Glasses? What for?”

With pitcher in hand, I'm ready to listen to some music from the live band… which very possibly could be the strangest collection of guys I’ve ever seen. There’s a bass, a guitar, an electric mandolin & TWO electric banjo’s?!?! They played very well, don’t get me wrong, it’s just…. Electric banjo? Anyways, people were dancing and carryin on and socializing till late into the evening. So late in fact that I missed the metro…again! No biggie, more time to drink! I was lucky enough to be able to snag a ride with 2 friends of mine who were going near that area! You guys Rock!
As a result of partying, or working, or whatever, I sooooo over slept this morning! Oops! O well, such is life.

On Tap...
Closing the bar tonight, come on by if your in the area
Opening the bar tomorrow morning
Going to a friends bar for a little Saturday happy hour
Charity house party Saturday night
Probably end up in Annapolis Sunday & then here comes the week again!?!?!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 1:55 PM, ,

Let's do some shopping....

So there's a big weekend of stupid coming up, some of you may know of it, some may not. It's the RDR weekend & I've been getting ready by shopping for a few things online. Now as I shop via eBay, froogle, various online retailers I'm noticing just how close to surfing soft-core porn shopping for lingerie is! I thought I was just shopping...Apparentlyly I was having too much fun to be just shopping!

What are you guys planning to wear?

In the spirit of redness, my buddy just bought a new Jeep Wrangler (Welcome to the Family!) in red and we had to celebrate over a couple beers last night, surprisingly, nothing stupid unfolded after wards. Hmm, this is a slow streak of stupid for me! No worries, I'll be enjoying too many cocktails on Saturday and I'm positive something stupid will happen!!

*personal shop assistant pictured here in red pleather as found on e-bay!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 1:13 PM, ,

Another Day Another $1

So if your already a faithful stalker of my blog, thank you =), you’ll notice I skipped Monday as it wasn’t worth writing about. But, just to keep you happy…

I went to work, went to the gym, ate leftovers, watched discovery channel Monster garage and Orange County Choppers, read my book, went to bed. - nothin xciting. Sorrie!

Day time is another drab day at the office, with a quick break to the subway during the day with a co-worker. He was seriously loosin it due to the fact I had no doors on the jeep. In a 5 minute ride, he freaked about falling out of the jeep 10+ times! Your wearin a seat belt, you’ll be fine!

The funny part I’ve found about having two jobs is that you’ve gotta leave the first job early just so you can get to the second job late! I roll in there and the day bar guy is lost & the bar is trashed! Ugh. Ok, so let’s get it clean and have a good shift. The wheel printer wouldn’t stop FCUKING printing for 5 straight hours!!!!! The servers bent me over and fcuked me in the a$$ like I was a $2 whore standing on a street corner in dupont during international pride week! Now, I hate it, but I wouldn’t mind if they at least made some good money… but they didn’t?!?!? Makes noooo sense to me. O well, that’s tuff for them. After it slowed down, I got a few visits from some regular restaurant folks who understood my pain & were happy to b!tch with me about it! All in all, it was a good night, but getting home at 4am after work on a school night leaves for a sleepy sleepy me the next day!

Random Quote:
“...[he’s got] Diet coke cans stacked up in his office like they are fcuking Martha Stewart design accessories!”

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 1:25 PM, ,

The laziest of all days….

So welcome Sunday & me rolling outta bed at the crack of noon. There’s a handful of people floating around the house from last night looking a little bleary eye-d b/c they stayed up way past my 315am pass out time!
I shuffle around the house for a min looking for leftovers, which I have plenty of, and start to gorge…. Let’s make a plate… Cheeseball? Yes. Dip? Yes. Potato salad? Yup. Chicken Quarters? Chicken Quarters? Chicken Quarters? NO?!?!?!?!?! Some one ate all the damn chicken!?!?!? Grrr. So that's what it feels like to have your food eaten?? O well, more dip then to make up for it & on to the couch. Look Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure is on followed by a Xtreme 4x4 marathon, and right into an encore of Bill and Teds excellent adventure, or maybe Sorority Boys, or the new fall fox line up (Simpson’s, Family Guy, etc) SCORE!!!

“Everything is different, but the same... things are more moderner than before... bigger, and yet smaller... it's computers... San Dimas High School football rules!”

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 3:06 PM, ,

A feast of Epic Proportions!

So, a month or so ago, I sent out this email…

I know it's a little early for thanks giving dinner, but I just had a TV Dinner for lunch that was turkey with dressing. Not a feast by any means, buuuuut that did give me a decent hunger for more turkey. So,with that being said would any of you guys be interested in doing like a big ass thanksgiving dinner style feast?? The idea is that everyone brings a dish that's always been a big part of thanksgiving with their family to share, I'll cook a big ass turkey (just gotta find and shoot one of them elusive little fcukers first!!) We'd feast, then, knowing us, we'd probably get drunk!

Saturday was the realization of that dream… people showed once I tapped the keg, come on it’s us…of course we’ll have a keg with dinner, and we went to work on the deep fryer getting it ready for it’s bird. The idea is that it takes about 30 minutes to heat the oil…. Ummm… NO! Try like 2 hours!! Good thing we’ve got yummy apps! When the oil finally gets good and hot, we bring in the turkey spilling about half the oil in the driveway! Ugh, that’s gonna leave a mark!
The turkey’s finally done and we put it all out to feast! Foods including…quartered Boston Market chicken, 50 hot honey wings, cranberry ala can, Death by chocolate brownie cake, wine, punpkin pie, yams, stuffing, Gravy, a killer cheese ball, crab & artichoke dip, smashed potatoes, deep fried turkey, caesar salad with homemade dressing, spicy green been casserole, 7-layer bean N guac dip, apple pie, ice cream, Holy's famous broccoli and cauliflower with bacon salad, shrimp cocktail, multi layer queso dip… were served to everyone’s enjoyment. This was truly an excellent feast!
After dinner, we proceeded to finish the rest of the keg (Plus some more beer) and socialized till around 2-3am while picking at left-overs! Excellent! The highlight of the night, other then the food of course, I have to say is James and Udder doing the Double Dutch Dance to music and strobe lights coming outta my jeep! I soooo wish I had a pic of that to display. Too funny!

(Actual dinner may look different then the pic!)

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 12:14 PM, ,

…Friday is a drinkin’ day!

Sooooo happy Friday!! Woo Hooo!!! I’m at work, not sure what I’m thinking. On the one side, it’s been a long week I should get some rest blah blah blah, on the other side… It’s FRIDAY!!! As I’m picking up the keg for tomorrow nights small dinner, I decide that I should go out. Just for a few minutes or so!
We start out at Tortilla Coast just off of capital south with a pitcher for me, a few shots… also for me… selfish, ain’t i? Ok, so I shared the shots! I’m a good friend. And you gotta eat well if you plan to drink all night which I decided I would be doing after a few beers.
So, outta the 20+ group of people 6 of us break off to head to Adams Morgan. Before we go anywhere, I have gotta take a pick with my camera phone… look some tall girls and some short girls & some inbetween girls all lined up…. I can win $50,000 from cingular!!!!!! Needless to say Cingular is not interested in blurry bar shots Maybe the cell phone had tequila shots too?
We do a walk thru of Roxxanne’s & it’s dead… must be too early. Up the street a bit… Reef? Naah. Millie & El’s? Too crowded all ready. I know…. The Angry Inch! I’m not sure who’s idea it was to drink Redbull and Vodka, but those go down really quick. So I order another, and another… you get the idea. We head to the next bar (Used to be Crush, now Nolans)where an old friend of mine joins our random walk from bar to bar & proceeds to lead us up to Adams Mill for yet another round. This is where we Fast Forward (FF) a bit… next thing I know, I’m in a cab and the cab driver is yelling at me in a heavy accent telling me he knows the way and to stop yelling at him….FF….i’m on my couch?!?! ...FF… I’m getting a text message at 8am wondering if I’m up on saturday morning? ugh… nooooooo!!! Tommy want sleepy!

The Evenings Totals
4hrs - Total sleep including couch, floor, & bed.
$20 - Cab rides
$150 - Booze (not Boozie!)
$10 - Food - & no jumbo slice? wtf?
$180 - Total - Damn DC is Xpensive!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 3:00 PM, ,

A great night to be topless

So, we are waaaaaaaaaay the fcuk out there in silver spring. Ugh, who’s idea was this?!?!?!? Great weather tho, a perfect night for a run…if I could run. My stupid burn, yeah I know, I did it to myself, hurts like hell and is preventing me from running so I’ve gotta walk. Ok, a short drunk stumble is fun with some new folks…. Think again! 5 miles later…. Ugh, still stumbling & no drunkening (yes, it’s a word!).
NE wayz, we finally get in and realize we’ve lost a handful of people since it’s dark, the trail is long and we’re out in BFE! Anyways, we get a call about people being hurt on trail, so I take off in the jeep to go rescue people!! Good times! Saving fallen friends and even busting out that med kit that’s always in the jeep. Good times. The best thing was that it was a very nice clear night to drive back topless…. Well it was in the front seat at least! Sorry Sloppy & Fuxon (whatever!) about the cold ride, you two are tuff chiks and you made it Just fine!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 11:55 AM, ,

Thursday.. Already? Score!

So, I'm leavin work yesterday (day job.... That's ok, it gives me a place to blog!!) and on my way home I drive by the stadium every day. As my friends are doing a little tailgating, I had better swing by....It'd be rude not to, right? Right. A few entrances later, I've learned that all the parking people that work for the stadium are complete A$$HOLES save for two people that are actually helpful. So, I get in the stadium and hang out for a bit, but have to bail just before the game starts as it's time to go out with mom to dinna! She'll kick my a$$ if I'm late.
So, we sit down to dinner, and I realize that, yep, we're related! First words out of her mouth at dinner... "Let's start off with a few shooters!" I'm not one to argue with mom!! A few (use this term loosely) drinks later, there's food, and more food! An excellent meal and excellent conversation! Good times. So, drop mom off & take it to the house. I think I fell asleep as I was turning the key in the lock at my house I'm sooo beat from closing the bar Monday & Tuesday night. I make it, and am out like a light! Gotta rally a little bit today, up in Silver Spring(WTF?!?!?!) for the run tonight. I'll be hobbling along b/c my fcukin burn hurts like hell so just a short walk for me and no run till this leg gets better!

Stupid comment of the day....
"Just to prove to you that no food is safe in the house, I am currently eating your left over spaghetti from last night.... But I'm not liking it!!!!"
(I'm emailing this to my roommate as I eat his leftover dinner from last night!!)

I put you all to this question and I'm expecting answers here....
Would you rather... (please make only one selection & be sure to bubble inside the lines)
  1. Work a job you hate 5 days a week that has a future? ...or...
  2. Work a job you love with no future but make the same money as job 1 only working 3 days a week? ...or...
  3. Work both jobs and try to balance? ...or...
  4. Quit both jobs and move to Alaska...Why not?

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 3:00 PM, ,

The apocalypse is upon us!!!!!!

Here are some of the seven signs.....
  1. Guys packing more than girls for a camping trip
  2. Hashers Arrive Early to an event....any event!
  3. Hard Cock Life dating someone - he's pretty cool tho
  4. Capt. S.A. Ho is more sober than PIH on consecutive days - Skary!
  5. SH!T Invades DC more than once during the course of a three month time span
  6. Hokie manages to get through a hashing weekend without serious injury
  7. PIH's search ends!!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 12:05 PM, ,

A Chain letter via bloggers?

LNDT tagged me today, good-by productivity at work!!

7 things you may not know about LNDT:

  1. She hates the Cold
  2. She's got her masters
  3. She packs very efficiently when traveling
  4. Driving a manual transmission car is very important to her
  5. She recently had a hella rough night partying too hard on a boat
  6. She's got what appears to be thousands of pairs of sunglasses for all occasions
  7. She still owes me $20 for gas!!
7 things I have never done and may never do:

  1. Any manner of drugs - I guess I'm just too strait edge
  2. Own an exotic sports car - give me a sleeper any day!
  3. Travel to 3rd world countries - not super big on traveling
  4. Watch the LifeTime Network
  5. Get used to Olives - YUCK!!!!!
  6. Lay down a bike - I can only hope!
  7. Run an ultra-marathon - these guys are nuts!
7 things I did NOT do this weekend:

  1. Balance my accounts, ie. check book etc.
  2. Play some of the video games that I just HAD to have
  3. Drink & Drive - cabs all the way!
  4. Put a scratch on my buddies bike
  5. Stress out about anything
  6. Get into a scuffle of any sorts
  7. Buy anything stupid for myself that I didn't need

7 times I was almost killed or seriously injured

  1. Fell out of a 3rd story window (4)
  2. Broken arm (8)
  3. Building a ramp and launching a few dozen yards on my bike then landing on various body parts and sliding a few more dozen yards (10)
  4. Kicked out knee (13)
  5. Car accident with me on a bicycle (13)
  6. Car accident totaling a 5 series (17)
  7. Snowboarding a half pipe, taking a jump landing on anything but the board (26)

7 people to tag:

  1. West Indian Girl - An up and coming musical group, got a great sound!
  2. Not taggin NE one else! I'm Perpetually It!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 6:00 AM, ,

The Roving Camel

Welcome to Saturday of my X-tra long weekend! Rise and shine to go meet up with a buddy who's lending me his bike for a few days. Score!!!!! This thing is FAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSTTTTTTT as hell! Trying to pass someone on 95 south finds me doing 100+ in a matter of 2 seconds!! All of a sudden, I’m lookin for places to go, anywhere.... let's go!!!
So, a few minutes later, I get a call from another friend to go out on their boat. Wow! Talk about luck for things goin on. Ok. Well, going out on the boat, meant working on it first, but that's all good b/c I’m a gear head and I find that sorta thing really fun!! We replace the alternator on a nice 5.7L V8 magnum mercruiser engine in this speed boat, then launch it into the water. Start it up.... It's got that mean throaty rumble that scares both small children, fish, and other boats. This one's got some pull!!! So, we head out towards open water, engine grumbling just ready to be opened up, only 20 yards to open water and no more of this "No Wake Zone" crap... 10 yards.... 5 yards..... and the engine stops!!! Apparently the electrical problem that we thought we fixed was not the alternator! Ugh, talk about boat teasing yourself!! We drift for a while, turtle contemplates swimming us back to shore, but we find some people to tow us back instead. I manage to fall asleep on the bow of the boat and get a sun burn on my back while we're getting towed in. Apparently that boat sees more water from rain then from being on the water, so they are thinking of naming it "Rovers Camel" or "The desert oasis".
I ride home, and parking the bike I get a wicked 3rd degree burn on my calf from the exhaust b/c I’m riding in shorts like a freakin IDIOT!!!!!! It's about the size of a dollar bill and hurts like hell!!! Put it this way, the skin was bubbling off in 5 min! Ouch!
The rest of the day finds me hangin out at the house then takin it to an awesome 80's party for a while. Good times & everything was done so well!!! Decorations, food, everything! Here's a better recap of this party!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 2:28 PM, ,

Getting married? No thanks, just an open bar for me!

Well here comes Friday and I'm playin hookie from work. First things first, the doors and roof come off the jeep! Love it! That's the best way to enjoy a jeep!
I spend most of this wonderful morning sleeping in and resting from a long night, and long week. A few joy rides later and it's time to get ready for the wedding. Peeking Duck is getting married and moving to Hawaii!!! I'm going as VAM and Jingle's date. The 'Three's Company' of Hash Kash. We get to the church a little early and the sun is BLAZIN! It's hella hot, esp. in a nice black suit. Meet up with tiny balls and Danger Bunny & enter the church for the reception. The church is roman catholic, and me not raised in the catholic church I get a few things confused. For example, as we enter a hallway, on the out side of the building it says "Narthex" & I ask simply, "is that the name of the company who paid to have it built?" you know, like Fed Ex Field or Netel Stadium. Apparently it's not. opps! Blunder number 2. We are sitting in the wedding and I see a few guys wearing these special silk shirts, I lean over "Hey, are ALL those guys alter boys?" nope, apparently that's the most formal wear of the Philippino peoples..... damn. I’m 0 for 2. I try to shut my mouth for the rest of the ceremony! I also learned that my date hates getting her pic taken!!
Let's go on to the reception, I get seated with my dates at "That Table". You know the one. Every wedding has "That Table" It works out for the best tho, b/c these people are fun!! Not much dancing, but tons of socializing and many many trips to the open bar!
a couple drinks later, I catch a ride outta there with meatloaf and Debbie (Who is trashed!!!). We BS on the way to the next bar, and when we get there I learn that it's just me.... ok. On-bar! Meeting up with a few more people for a drink. it's quiet, so I move on. A cab ride later finds me at a DUI check point, at which point I decide to talk to the cop from the back seat of the cab... (only slurring slightly) how wonderful I think she is and thank her for keeping me safe from drunk drivers everywhere. She tries to give me some pamphlet, I thank her politely and inform her that I prob won't read it any way!
On to Georgetown and the harbor for a short party on a boat. I musta been partied out by this point, b/c I only drank one or two of my 18 pack and contributed the rest to the boat beer supply and headed for home. Luckily bummin a ride.

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 3:56 PM, ,

Ooo Ooo Draw on me!!

Welcome to Thursday which begins, contrary to popular belief, at about 5pm! A mad dash to the house, and onto the metro. Guess who doesn't have to do sign in?? Go on, guess!! It's meeeeee!!!! Score! NE wayz, a short walk to the metro and I gotta hit the Eckerd Pharmacy for some kash and for some wake me up juice. Just another redbull? Naah, let's try All new "Diet Rockstar" If you have a chance, pass on this one. It tastes like ass with a hint of ball sac. Yuk!
The run is surprisingly calm tonight as a lot of the usual rowdy suspects are in Toronto tonight, but we make do. Everyone is rockin their finest white T-Shirts, I try to sell em, but feel a tad guilty at buying a 3-pack for $5.99, then selling each shirt for $5. So I think they end up being given away so that all can participate. Everyone grab a sharpie and start drawin on each other!! Some excellent comments and pictures ensue, let's not forget "C*ckJockey" & a few "Butt Pirate"'s scribbled here and there.
This trail is a bit long for my taste, and the taste of my knee.... or perhaps I’m still hurtin from too much...uhhh... socializing last night! Ending under a bridge & drinking too much must bring creativity out in all of us! Much more excellent comments present themselves.... my personal favorite.... "I Fcuked your mom while wearing your grandma's hat!!" not sure why, but that's soooo random it's good!
X number of beers later, we're at the bar. To save time and trouble, two beers at a time of course. An awesome turn out, to say the least! Great times singing and socializing, although I just couldn't seem to get this one girls attention, but o well, such is life. A nice pack of us take off to catch the last train home... home? why go there? there's still a bar open!! Back to bailey's where I live apparently!! =)
A few beers, some wings later and I’ve totally lost track of time. As they are throwing us out, I run into a neighboring bar tender who'll gimmie a ride home. (I was told later that I promised to fix her car or something for the ride, but she wasn't gonna hold me to it!) I woke up on my couch around 430am watching some reruns on TBS, then went to my real bed. A fun night! How many in a row is this? Ugh, poor liver. O well, it'll heal!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 3:33 AM, ,

Off to work….sorta!

Ok, so I just got this new job a few weeks ago bartending at a bar near my house. Good times!!!!!! Loooove it! The extra money is nice since it costs all of $55 to fill up my jeep’s gas tank! WTF? NE wayz, back to it. So, I’m workin last night and a few people decide to stop by and have a happy hour with me. Awesome! Business is sorta slow, so the boss being the nice guy that he is let's me go early at the crack of 915! Sweeet!
Now a prudent person would go home and rest up from the past 2 late nights out, buuuuut..... well, you know how that goes. So, off to McCormick & Schmidt's to booze it up with the whole crew that came out. Good times for a quick drink with a cute bar tender! I'm feeling in a generous mood, so I pick up the tab for all of us here.
After a few complaints that this place is tooo up scale, we dive it down a notch and hit the Crystal City Restaurant (CCR). For some reason, I decide I should order my beers 2 at a time, so the fun starts... NOW! Hangin out with some great people and naked girls dancing all over the place, I start to see that this is good times! The girls that came with us are having just as much fun with the strippers (if not more) as the guys are!! Turtle decides to catch a seat RIGHT on the stage and have dinner. Good call. Hamburger, beer, titties... what else do you really need, right? Well apparently we all needed shots! Since CCR doesn't serve liquor, you have to run next door to the chinese place to do shots. The chinese place is closed! :'( That won't stop MY intake thank you very much! 6 of us march up to the next bar and do a round of shots call a "Snake Bite" courtesy of knee deep. I'm just glad she didn't make us do "Prairie Fire" - look that one up, that's pain in a glass! So, back to the strip club for one more round and I realize that the guys that took up residence at the stage, still haven't moved!! Too funny!
I'm a big fan of techno music and there was nooooo shortage of it at the strip club, but different people have different musical tastes so we moved on.
In the process of moving on, I see that I’m obviously not gonna be in any state to drive after I go anywhere else, as do a few others that are with me and we go to move our cars. Also, I took the initiative to pick up a few cases of beer just in case a few people decide to late night it.
So, a few minutes later, at the next bar it seems that everyone knows the guy singing and he's thrilled to have us there. Since he knows us anyway, all 10 or so of us decide to help him out singing at the top of our lungs!! We are quite good if I do say so myself!
Turtles wife is hanging out at the bar trying to find me a nice cute asian girl! So nice of her! The one she found came with a tall white kid that followed her around all over the place, so she kept on lookin for another cute asian girl!
As “Late Night” is getting scrutinized for her out fits b/c she’s wearing a slip?!?!?! Other then my grandma, I know no one who wears a slip. Even the girls pick on her a little for this one. So, she takes it off and explains that it’s there to keep your clothes from sticking to you. I think, what a brilliant idea & decide to put it on over my pants & dance around in it. See, now my pants won’t cling to anything!!!! To prove to me just how pretty I was in that, turtle decides to stick one dollar bills in my pants. Thanks! I didn’t think you had any left from the strip club! Later yet in the evening, I’m discussing the intricacies of something I find very important (don't remember what that something was) and gesturing slightly with my hands to the point where I spill my full beer. S#!*!!!! Turtle & Knee deep quickly step in and introduce me to a tradition for just such an occasion....

"If you spill a beer, you have to do 20 pushups over the spot where you spilled it!"

....ok. who am I to go against tradition? Since a few other shots have snuck their way into my system, counting for myself is completely out of the question, so what sounded like half the bar counted for me!
We proceed to finish drinking too much here and prepare to leave this bar. A handful have to head back to BFE (Outside the beltway) whence they came from & they head to their respective rides. A few of us decide to go check out those cases of beer I bought earlier in the evening.
On our way up the street, a wondrous sound is to be heard..... is that.... a 350 GM V8 with straight pipes?? It is!!!! & it happens to be turtles car!! At this point, I think it's a great idea to start humping his car. I'm quickly corrected & encouraged to stop.
5 or so of us proceed onto my house for some late night beers & singin that I’m pretty sure pissed my roomies off. Sorry roomies.

A few hours of sleep later finds me back at my day job starving, hung-over, unshaven, ugh... not a good site! I just remembered I forgot to eat last night. that must be why the 12 or so beers and couple shots hit me as hard as they did! It's all good, gotta suck it up for tonight becaaaauuuuussseeee.......... Thursday is a Hashin day!!!!!!!

posted by Cptn S.A. Ho @ 3:44 PM, ,